Tuesday, January 30, 2007


i think i have a little problem called rage.

i absolutely love to waste my own time on my own terms, but when other people waste it, it really bothers me.

for example:
this morning i woke up and got ready to go down to the town hall to the DMV office there to get my new driver's license with my married name. i was told all i needed was my current driver's license, my marriage license, proof of where i live (mail in my name at my address) and the fee of $10.

so, i go there with all that information. then the woman tells me they can't accept my marriage certificate because it is from the
bahamas. when i ask why, she don't give me a real answer. they just say that this happens all the time, they get people coming in her who get married in vegas and other places, and i have to go to the city health department and register it there, and then come back. that didn't make sense to me, but i couldn't get any more information from her (it really just felt like someone didn't really want to do their job, to be honest, and it was easier to dismiss me) so, i went home and called the health department, because it was obvious i was not going to get any answers from this woman.

the health department routes me to the department of vital statistics in

the vital statistics department routes me to the marriage registration department there in

this very pleasant woman in the marriage regsitration department, arlene, said she can't help me, they don't register out of state/town/country licenses/certificates and anyway, this is a DMV issue, not a health department issue.


i start chuckling, i think, "here we go!" i take a little walk, i light a cigarette...and i calm myself down.

i get the number of the DMV department with NYS.

after waiting on hold for 45 minutes with the DMV, i get the nicest guy from their customer service department. i explain to him what happened this morning at the town DMV office, the phone calls i made, the information i was given etc. and asked for his help. after talking with his supervisor, he tells me that if i can get 6 points of identification, then i can go back to the DMV and show them the 6 points and they will take that and i can get my new license.
the six points are: bank statement, cancelled check, pay stub, insurance card, W2, credit card.

(if i had my social security card changed, that would count as 2 points, but i don't have that done yet. i thought i'd have to have the driver's license first to change that. and if my bank card came in the mail, that would count as one point, too, but it hasn't arrived yet. i had to get a new bank card to go with my new bank account after resigning from the bank - as my employee account was required to be closed and i had to open a new customer account. and wait for new checks and bank card. fun.)

SO i had all these things, and i went back to the DMV office. the same woman i spoke to earlier in the morning was there and asked if i got the new certificate from the health department. i said no, and explained what i was told, and told her about my phone calls to the health department, albany and DMV and what they told me.

i asked her why she didn't tell me about the 6 points of i.d. that i could use instead of the marriage certificate. she said, "usually people don't have them, so i didn't even mention it."


especially since i had all of these 6 points on my person when i was there the first time this morning.

but, wait! it gets better.

we start going through my 6 points and she points out to me that if my bank statement, cancelled chk, bank card/atm card are all from the same financial institution, i can only use one of them.


so, i ask - "why didn't anyone mention this to me before?" she said, "well, it is just understood."

yeah, what's understood is that i have a fucking rage boiling inside of me that is about to explode all over her ugly little mug and cheesy desk.

so i leave. and i go home and get online to find out what i need to do to get a new social security card. all i have to do is go to my local office (yes, i know where that is) and apply, show my marriage certificate/proof of residence/name change and fill out the paperwork, wait for 10 days, and then i'll get my new social security card.

then i can go through this process again.

doesn't that sound like fun?

anyway, i do feel better after writing about it. but i seriously got angry about this. i mean really angry. normally, since i've been on my happy meds (last 7 yrs or so) i don't get bent out of shape to the point of screaming anymore. i mean, i get mad, but i don't want to throw things, scream at someone or whatever. normally i just get mad, then i get over it pretty quickly and figure "oh well, i did what i could about it, no reason to get upset. it's over. i'll move on." not so today. i was so angry, i actually stormed out of the DMV office after saying "this is fucking ridiculous" to the woman who was only doing her job (albeit, the very minimum of her job, and not very well, in my opinion) and was just angry angry angry to the point of rage.

then someone pissed me off by cutting in front of me on the road - you know that changing lanes around you thing? i was going 50 in the 45 mph zone, that apparently wasn't fast enough for this person, who switched lanes and cut me off - pulled back into my lane right in front of me and proceeded to go about 70. i flipped them off but i'm sure they didn't see, nor would that have made a difference.

i come home to dogs who are bouncing, jumping, barking, shrieking, acting crazy....

and i'm just full of rage. not any more, but i'm not used to letting things get to me this badly. hasn't in a long time. last time i remember being this angry was when H was being absolutely ridiculous about something a year ago.

do i need new meds or is this an isolated incident? would other people react this way or am i overreacting?


i needs me some BHD time. fo shizzle.

and that is all for today.


Lynne said...

I thought the large type was to show how mad you were!!!

rebecca said...

LOL nope, that was just an error in editing. something hinky happened. i fixed it though. :)

edieraye said...

Poor thing! Are you getting enough exercise? Are you eating right? Too much sugar? Everyone gets mad once in awhile but if you feel out of control I wonder if there is something else tipping you over the edge. Perhaps you aren't sleeping enough (common among newlyweds). Something might be interfering with your normal coping mechanism. Of course, what you went through today would try the patience of a saint. Poor customer service is one of my pet peeves.

rebecca said...

eating right? exercise? hah. no. that's a major problem but nothing new. no, sugar isn't my issue.

perhaps sleep. that could be it.

i just think i'm in a bitchy mood.

but, therapy starts tomorrow! yay!!

The CEO said...

Wait until they find out the marriage contract is from the Bahammas. You will need to get it translated by a governement approved translator, plus a copy of the treaty.......

I'm kidding

bhd said...

Soon, grasshoppah. Soon!

But do make sure you have the proper ID that matches the name on your airline reservations, please! I can't wait to see you!

rebecca said...

bhd: i'm definitely working on that. that's part of why i'm getting this going. my airline ticket is in my married name. i'm pretty sure of that from the emails i'm getting from them about updates to the itinerary. anyway...it won't be long now.

give my best to that cagey and terror-tub. :hugs:

CEO: absolutely. i have this feeling i'm going to get the runaround at the social security office about the certificate...i'll deal with that when it happens, i guess.