Tuesday, May 01, 2007

thoughts

it has been a back and forth couple of weeks, moodswing wise. yeah, i've been a-swinging.

doing great on the diet.

doing great on the motivation.

spent some time yesterday and last night and today with my friend who's getting married this month. i'm feeling a lot better about things between us. and i'm really going to miss her when she moves. i am going to try to be as available as possible for whatever she needs these next couple weeks.

so there's that.

so, things are ok.

but, i have been feeling helpless about helping a friend of mine. granted, we've never met in person, but i still feel like we're friends. she's going through a hard time right now, trying to make a serious decision about her life that doesn't only involve her, but several other people. it is hard to feel so responsible for others' happiness. that your decision may cause some changes to an important relationship. or that if you make the other decision, it may harm another relationship, just as important to you. i've been thinking about this a lot recently and wishing i had a better way of helping her.

and, i miss my parents. weird. never thought i'd say that.

there's other things going on in my head that i'm just not ready or able to talk about right now. either for lack of words, or for reluctance to share.

as much as you have sometimes, is it fair to feel like you want more, but you're not sure what that "more" is or means?? maybe "more" really means "something else". not really more at all.

maybe i don't know what i'm talking about.

4 comments:

Mississippi Songbird said...

I know what you mean about maybe wanting something different sometimes. I think everybody does that.I miss my parents too..

bhd said...

As for your ponderings, it might be useful to be able to articulate which parts of your soul are not being fed. When you can discern that, coming to a place of satisfaction or contentment will be much easier.

Wanting more but not knowing what more means is a pretty standard state of affairs. And it gets you nowhere. Good luck pinning it down. And when you figure it out, let me know. I'm right there with ya.

melanie said...

great on the motivation! i know how hard that can be sometimes. give yourself a big hug.

helping friends is a huge thing for me. I love being there for them.

keep writing it out. sometimes just writing out things will make clearer patterns, and you will make sense of it all in time.

much hugz.

newwavegurly said...

As much as we'd like to help our friends, sometimes they have to make their final decisions on their own. Then it becomes our job, as friends, to support them in those decisions.