for those of you who have known me for a while, you know that i once was married before, and once had a pug puppy named mojo.
since my divorce, i had been emailing my ex for updates on mojo. hoping for health updates and pictures, as we agreed on when i left. nothing ever happened. at least once a year i contacted him via e-mail (and yes, i had the correct e-mail as he has a side business with an e-mail address, which never changes) and never heard a peep, much to my dismay.
probably the hardest thing i've ever had to do was pack up and walk away from my puppy. he was almost a year old when i left. i couldn't say goodbye to him when i was moving out because it was just too hard and he would have been too wound up. so the last time i saw him he was upstairs in doren's home in his crate happily chewing on his bone.
over the years, i've had vivid dreams about mojo. most were good - he'd been healthy and alive, but had been ignored or passed over for other canine additions to his family...and i'd cry and cry upon waking. i never had any dreams that he was hurt or mistreated or (gulp) dying/dead. still, these dreams were so real and so full of complete images and emotions that it squeezed and wrenched my heart open each time.
yesterday, hank e-mailed my ex to let him know that we would be in the area over the last weekend in july (we're going for a holiday at my mom's best friend's condo in hidden valley, pa) and that if he had the slightest desire to let mojo go, to please let us know, we'd reimburse with money and arrange a time and meeting to pick him up.
i'm so thrilled to hear that mojo is not only alive, but healthy, happy and much loved. he will be staying where he is...but should that change, i get first dibs. i'm thrilled about this. you have no idea.
this is the response hank got from my ex:
I’m very sorry to hear that Rebecca has nightmares about Mojo. I understand it wasn’t an easy choice leaving him behind, but unfortunately I can’t part with him as I’m sure you would understand, not to mention that I’d probably be divorced for a 3rd time if I did! I could offer the occasional photo via email if that would help her. She has not contacted me in several years so I have never known of this anguish, but I would hope this slight offering would help in her feeling confident that he is safe and being very well cared for and loved as I’m sure Ferris is also. He, in fact, just went to the Vet again for his check-up and is perfectly healthy and just applied for a Home Again ID and lifetime license. We even discovered that he has a slightly longer nose than regular Pugs which enables him to breathe better than the average Pug. I commend your tack and respect in emailing me. I can tell you must have a great deal of respect for others, not to mention your love for Rebecca. Again I regret that we won’t be able to part with Mojo, but I hope the prospect of the occasional emailed photo would be a kind and respectful offer. I can easily send the hi-res version also so if you would like to print them they would be of excellent quality. I’m afraid that’s all I can offer, but if anything were to ever change Rebecca would be the only person I would trust in giving Mojo a home to. He even stays with my Mom & Wes (his God-Parents) when we are out of town, which he thinks is just the best thing in the world!
Hope this email reaches you guys well and look forward to your response.
perhaps now, i will stop dreaming about mojo, and i can rest a little easier, feel reassured, and maybe finally let go knowing that he is loved and doing fine.
still, the tears came. how could they not?