are you allowed to vent on your own blog??
i am trying to do something special and nice for a friend of mine. i've put a lot of time and effort into planning this event, and...all i get is complaints.
"not enough people are coming...boo hoo hoo..."
"i always get the shaft..."
"nobody realizes how important this is to me..."
"this is stressing me out..."
"i can't understand why this is a big deal..."
"this is just too much for me to deal with right now..."
fine. some of the things aren't directed at me. but some are.
i'm feeling very unappreciated.
and on top of that - how hard is it to RSVP?
regrets only means RSVP if you're not coming. BUT RSVP means RSVP - coming or not.
i don't understand why people can't do this. i don't get why some are so flaky, clueless and inconsiderate.
i am trying to make this thing nice for my friend. obviously, she's hard to please and everything is about her right now.
granted, most of the time EVERYTHING is about her. she hasn't asked about my recent trip to the west coast, hasn't inquired - or taken an interest in/about my health or what's going on in my life in probably over 6 months or more (which i should be used to because i'm now noticing that this is typical and has been for years and years, and even when there are initiated phone calls - it is always about her first, complaint after complaint or whatever, and if there's time, she might ask about me), and i've been in my new house for a year, and she's only come to visit once, about a month after we moved in. and there was something else related to my getting married last year that happened (or more appropriately, DIDN'T happen) but all this is not related to my annoyance of late...or is it???
i know i have to suck up my current annoyance, get things done and get through this...almost like, get it over with, and then sigh with relief.
and as i'm writing this i'm remembering that she does send cards to me on almost every holiday or for no reason...so i don't go completely disregarded. but ARRRRGH!! i find myself asking myself over and over and over recently "why am i doing this??" and i don't like my reason. my reason for doing it shouldn't be the reason. but it is.
i'm just not sure what to do with these feelings right now except write them down here...
i think that's why i started the blog in the first place. to get things more clear in my own head by writing them down. usually it helps. perhaps this time it will, too.